Lady Gaga - ARTPOP

There are so many good names you can make out of Lady Gaga's album title, ARTPOP. CHARTPOP and CHARTTOP if you're a little monster for instance. Alternatively there's CHARTFLOP, ARTFLOP, FARTPOP, SHARTPOP and ARTPOOP if you're hoping to see Rocket Number 9 blast Gaga off to Venus for good. She must be aware of these incredible names, right?

ARTPOP which the star began recording straight after releasing 2011s Born This Way appears to be Gaga's most piercing body of work so far. While the last album sank comfortably under your skin, ARTPOP tries to sock you in the face time and time again. A number of previously performed or referenced tracks, such as 'Princess Die' and 'Ratchet', (which allegedly featured a verse from motor-mouth MC, Azealia Banks) didn't end up making the cut. Luckily it's to no avail, as the 15-strong set is busting with beats which make the album sound as busy as the album cover looks. A more fitting name probably would've been ArtEDM, as you can clearly hear it's wompy synth influences dominating almost every song.

Although the star commented that her favourite track on the album was ever changing, it currently stood at the trap-laced banger, 'Jewels n' Drugs'. It's easy to hear why, as it sounds nothing like the rest of the album. Assisted by rappers T.I, Too Short and Twista, Gaga tells her man that she's neither interested in his money or jewels - just his love and his drugs.

Love and drugs appear to be two cornerstones within ARTPOP, coming into play throughout the album, most prominently on its lone ballad, 'Dope'. While she may scream and sound as if she's on the edge of tears for the duration of the song ("I'll keep searching for an answer cause I need you more than dope") she manages to keep it together for the rest of the LP. The S&M dungeon sounding 'Sexxx Dreams' and the triple genre 'Manicure' have been favourites since they debuted at the iTunes Festival back in September. We also get reacquainted with Gaga's other other love, fashion on 'Donatella' and the appropriately titled, 'Fashion!'. Sadly, there's no need for both of these. Most songs about fashion and fashion culture in general end up sounding too similar, as there ain't too many (Fifth) avenues you can travel down lyrically. 

Closing the same way the current wave started, the lead single 'Applause' ironically doubles as a fitting curtain closer. It's almost as if we came full circle around that giant orb/thing in between her legs up there. If you're big on the sounds of DJ White Shadow, Zedd and even David Guetta, this is definitely for you. If you like none of the above OR Gaga herself, it's obvious you should steer clear. 

But for me, there's not a single Fartpop in sight. 

Key Tracks: G.U.Y, Sexxx Dreams, Jewels N' Drugs

A-

Thor: The Dark World (Film)

Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Christopher Eccleston,  Idris Elba, Kat Dennings, Anthony Hopkins, Stellan Skarsgaard, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje

At long last. Although it feels like a lifetime has passed since the God of Thunder's original outing, it's been a mere two years. Crazy that. I'm also pretty sure I'm one of about 17 people that feels that way, as 2011's Thor seems to be the most underrated adaptation taken on by the Marvel Cinematic Universe so far.

Although the first instalment managed to gross almost $450 million and achieve a 77% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, for some reason, the character still hasn't been able to resonate with viewers the way say, Iron Man, Hulk and maybe even Captain America have. But fear not Thor fans, as that's sure to change after one viewing of Thor: The Dark World.

The film picks up after the events of The Avengers, with Thor comfortably back home in Asgard, and Jane, Selvig and Darcy (Portman, Skarsgaard and Dennings respectively) taking residency in London. Doing their sciencey stuff or whatever. Our hero is brought back to our world after Jane is possessed by the Aether – an omniscient force sought after by the dark elf, Malekith (Ecclestone) who wants to inhabit the Aether for himself . Thor is forced to band with adopted brother and current outlaw Loki (Hiddelston) to free Jane, crush Malekith and keep Asgard in check. Easy.  

Kenneth Brannagh's out and Game of Thrones director, Alan Taylor's in. So in. Taylor's used his days on Thrones to his full advantage, as Asgard has never gleamed with such prestige. The battle scenes do bite from Lord of the Rings in part, but that’s to be expected. Mother Frigga (Rene Russo), Jane and the other earthlings are utilised much more than in the previous instalment, while screenwriters Christopher Yost, Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely have paid special attention to how much Loki is adored in the real world, without overdoing it. 

Alas, The Dark World is not without it's problems, as a few pivotal plot points are almost blink-and-you'll-miss-it fast while The Warriors Three might as well have been left out completely. Oh, and it may be a bit too Star Wars-y for it's own good. Other than that, the film is a strong yet emotionally raw addition to the franchise, and features many more surprises and teasers of what the Marvel team have in store over the next couple of years.

Hopefully we'll get another sequel. 

B+ 

Katy Perry - Prism

Brace yourself. Cause there's not gonna be another album this year more meticulously crafted for radio than Katy Perry's Prism. 

I don't want you to confuse that as a compliment or a dig, it's a simple fact. With Teenage Dream selling over 5,000,000 copies worldwide, Katy also became the first female artist ever to have 5 US #1 singles from the same album. It's obvious that little feat has been put into play within every aspect of Prism, beginning with (the horribly overrated) lead single 'Roar' - a cliché and vapid dud track that seems to be putting the pop world in a sugar coma.

Her strive for pop domination is apparent throughout the whole LP. 'Birthday' is laced with confectionery based innuendos ("make it like your birthday every day, I know you like it sweet, so you can have your cake, give you something good to celebrate") to which Katy Perry has never sounded more like Katy Perry. 'Legendary Lovers', 'Ghost' and 'Walking On Air' are certain to be cemented into your cranium on a first listen, whether you like it or not. 'Dark Horse' is a tad disappointing, as it's one beat drop away from being a decent song, but it's 'International Smile' that will needle pierce your eardrums, as Perry channels (or rip's off - your decision) the signature sounds of Daft Punk two thirds of the way through. 

Party Perry is met with equal force by Pensive Perry, as mid-tempo's and ballads play a part just as vital as Prism's upbeat dance tracks. 'Love Me', 'This Moment' and 'Double Rainbow' aren't the easiest to differentiate from one another, and 'Unconditionally' inspired by Katy's boo, John Mayer offers ...well, nothing.

All together it sounds and feels like a group of standalone singles from producer Dr. Luke's catalogue. The frequent collaborator with Perry as well as songwriter Bonnie McKee should explain why so many songs within Katy's discography sound so similar. Catchier than chlamydia, Prism is definitely one for fans of her previous album as well as those in love with Katy's sickeningly sweet candy shtick. 

C-

Key Tracks: 'Legendary Lovers', 'Dark Horse' 'This Is How We Do'

Miley Cyrus - Bangerz

I tried not to. I wasn't going to. But I found myself pulled in by the alluring statement that the fourth album by Miley Cyrus would be "nothing but Bangerz", hence the album title, 'Bangerz'. With such a strong statement, I'd already made up my mind that the album would feature incredible beats by Pharrell and Miley's new partner in crime Mike Will Made It (who worked on 7 out of the 13 tracks)… while lacking in pretty much everything else. Where my presumptions correct? Let’s see. 

We've seen this time and time again. The young female artist desperate to shed their former (Disney) skin, adopts a newer, "adult" or more "free" version of their past self. Rihanna was the good girl who went bad, Britney became a slave in a circus and of course, Madonna became just about anything and everything she could possibly lend her mind to. Now it's Miley's turn. Leaning more towards the R&B and Hip-Hop influenced side of pop, some of the most unexpected collaborations of the year take place on this album . Among Mike Will as the main producer, 'Bangerz' features guest verses from Big Sean, French Montana, Future, Nelly and Britney herself. Do they really believe she’s talented? Or are they just tryna take a ride on the twerkin' cash cow? No one knows for sure. But save for Big Sean, all other featured artists seem p-r-e-t-t-y disinterested on their own tracks. That should leave you with a clear answer.

When she’s not gassing about purp, Miley’s getting weirdly personal. 'Love Money Party' is cloaked with epic relationship turmoil's , gawking about how she's been through too many heartbreaks "for a human to take" while also being the "girl on the side". You'd never guess it would end up so due to the bumping freaky fairground sound of the track. 'Wrecking Ball' and album opener 'Adore You' are two of the strongest moments on the album, which as you may know, are both *TWIST* ballads. Not exactly what you may cite as a banger. 

The killer production is sadly few and far between. #Getitright is a dud while My Darlin' would be instantly forgettable if it wasn't for the line "I ain't pop no molly but you still got me sweatin'". The Country-Hop '4x4' is the 'Hoedown Throwdown' for nu-Miley, and 'FU' is a showtune tinged kiss-off that can't not be directed at former fiancée Liam Hemsworth. 

After multiple (yes, multiple) listens, it's safe to say this album, isn't exactly flowing with bangerz. The sorta title track 'SMS (Bangerz)' however is a Miami Bass sounding rager that'll probably be a single. Think Bring It On meets 'Baby Got Back' and there you have it. It's a shame that the rest of the album couldn't stick it the way this can. 

C+ 

Key Tracks: Adore You, SMS (Bangerz), Wrecking Ball

Justin Timberlake - The 20/20 Experience Part 2 of 2

Timberlake came back to finish what he started. Described as the more "experienced...older sister" to Part 1 released in March, the masses have been blessed with a total of 12 tracks from Timba & Timbo's second 2013 outing. 

Is it really a blessing though? Well, yes and no. Not so much of a sequel as it is another half of the same album, 'Part 2' once again features Timbaland as its main producer. His role is as prominent on both albums as Justin's is. You can hear some of the greatest production and melodies of the year on both parts for sure. The grand symphonic sounds are back ('You Got It On', 'Amnesia') as well as Timberlake riding the beat under Timbaland's bassy beatboxing ('TKO', 'True Blood' and once again...'Amnesia'). But what the two bring to this time around is the mainstream radio sound taking prevalence on ‘Drink You Away’ and ‘Not A Bad Thing’. This I don't love as much.

Justin proclaimed that the previous disc was music made for the summer, while the later is for the bleaker autumn/winter - which I don't really understand. There is nothing as icy or aloof as 'Blue Ocean Floor' from part one, and save for Justin dropping a few f-bombs it's in no way colder or more appropriate for the darker months. 

Justin’s voice is just as perfect as ever, and Timbaland once again crafts (or reserves) his best work for the former mouseketeer. But save for four of the albums tracks (‘Amnesia’, ‘Murder’, ‘True Blood’ and 'Cabaret'), the two fail to deliver a stellar conclusion to what kicked off at the beginning of the year. In all honesty it's best to just stick to those four, especially 'Cabaret'. With an amazing feature from Drake and cheeky lyrics such as "if sex is a contest then you're coming first" and "I got you saying Jesus so much it's like we're laying in a manger" it's instantly one of the best songs from either of Timberlake's 'Experience' pieces.

A-

Key Tracks: True Blood, Cabaret, Murder, Amnesia

Drake - Nothing Was The Same

What better way to write my first album review on this blog for the year (which is ridiculous as it's the end of September) than to cover one of the best albums of 2013?

Drake's third album, "Nothing Was The Same" was released on Monday, a week after its online leak. Yes, the man who put Melancholy & B on the map is back to tell us how sad he is. I couldn't be happier about it. But for the first time in his career, Drake chooses to lead us in with the upbeat and hypnotising track 'Tuscan Leather'. Sampling Whitney Houston's ‘I Have Nothing’, the opener is three interlude’s in one. Letting us know that he’s here to stay, (“I'm tired of hearing ‘bout who you checking for now, just give it time we’ll see who’s still around a decade from now”) the Canadian rapper has never seemed so pompous, believable and likeable at the same time.

Drake’s grandiosity is broken up by his sombre temperament  similar to his last two efforts "Thank Me Later" and "Take Care". 'Connect' and the previously leaked 'The Motion' reek of the rapper’s feelings we've all come to know, and 'From Time' is the 'Take Care' of NWTS, aided by a beautifully fitting Jhene Aiko. ‘Own It’ features a first for any rapper in existence  as Drake utters the words – “Next time we fuck, I don’t wanna fuck, I wanna make love”. You can tell he really means this one. 

What does separate him from his previous LP's is how angry he is in parts of NWTS. Okay, so he’s not at a Yeezus level of rage (yet) but his versus have never sounded as forceful or urgent as they have here . It’s hard to believe the same person spittin’ is the same person singing on ‘Hold On, We’re Going Home’, a song so filled with golden throwback  goodness it seems almost too perfect to have been released this year.

'Nothing Was The Same' is without a doubt his most diverse album thus far, at least on a lyrical level. It's the perfect addition to his already strong discography. Drake should be proud of this one. 

A-

Key Tracks: Tuscan Leather, Worst Behaviour, From Time

VMAs: The Good, The Bad and The Downright Disgusting

On Sunday night, I said to a good friend, "I haven't said this in 10 years, but I am really excited for the VMAs tonight". That's no exaggeration, as I feel like the MTV Video Music Awards haven't been good since about 2003 or '04. What once seemed to be an alternative awards ceremony celebrating the best in the business and those who couldn't get close to a Grammy later turned into a seemingly overreaching spectacle to win viewership ratings. 

This year saw the awards return back to form. Although it wouldn't be the VMAs without a lil' controversy, it was nice to see a strong selection of nominees while also witnessing some incredible live performances. 

Ten of the show's moments have been spread (unevenly) into three categories; The Good, The Bad and the troll-under-a-bridge ugly. I don't think it takes a genius to guess which moments were the ugliest.

5. Lady Gaga's opener - 'Applause'

Yes, Lady Gaga opened the show with 'Applause', the first single off her third album 'Artpop'. While I'm sure some of you found time to cheer her, others were more likely to moan and groan, as after only four years, a lot of people seem to be sick of her already. My expectations for this performance were at a comfortable average to reasonably high, only to be exceeded entirely. 

Why Gaga found it necessary to wear four different costumes and three different wigs is unbeknownst to me at this moment in time, but for now I'll just take it as it was. An incredibly entertaining show opener.


4. The Surprise presenters




Something I didn't see coming were the appearances of Jason Collins, TLC and Lil' Kim this year. Even though Kim herself is a native Brooklynite (where the event was held this year), I never would've guessed that she'd actually turn up, especially since she left me hanging at Lovebox this year. Taking turns to introduce performances by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Drake, and the nominees for Best Rap Video respectively, the three were a pleasant add to the mix among the stars of the new generation, including Iggy Azalea, Selena Gomez and Bruno Mars.

3. Danity Kane's reformation

While a collective 'WHO?!' sweeps this post/nation/the internet, lemme say one thing. Danity Kane are my jam. Those who know me know this. Shannon, Aundrea, Aubrey and Dawn stepped out together as a group for the first time five years, acting like no time had passed at all. The band made famous on MTV's Making The Band released two albums in '06 and '08 before being disbanded by the groups creator, the Ciroc splashing Diddy in '09. Becoming the only girl group in history to have their first two albums début atop the Billboard chart, the new foursome (the fifth member, 'D. Woods' decided not to return for whatever reason), announced that they're currently readying a new single, titled 'Rage' from their upcoming third album. Sure they've been gone longer than they were together, and most people don't know who they are, but I remain excited.

2. Kanye West's 'Blood on the Leaves'

The most shocking thing that Kanye West can do at the point is act like a normal human being. Which is pretty much what he did the entire time he was on stage performing 'Blood on the Leaves' this year. West made a rare appearance at this years awards to perform a track from his dark, twisted but not so beautiful LP, Yeezus on Sunday night. While performing in front of the backdrop to Steve McQueen's "Lynching Tree", West flailed and wailed to the track which samples Nina Simone's 'Strange Fruit'. So maybe it wasn't exactly normal, but pretty normal for him at least. 

1. Justin Timberlake & NSync's Medley 

How could this not be #1? The recipient of this year's Video Vanguard Award blessed us with a 15 minute medley of almost every song he's ever released.  About half way through Timberlake headed towards the stage to reunite with the best boyband of all time, NSync for 'Gone', 'Bye Bye Bye' and 'Girlfriend'.

The choreography and vocals were air fucking TIGHT. 

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

and most importantly, Exhibit C:

And let's not forget about this:

I need a slo-mo of that:

Everyone, their mother, and Lady Gaga lost their minds:

The Bad

3. Katy Perry's closer, 'Roar'

To be fair, this show had the fewest poor moments since I started watching the show in 1998, so it was quite hard to pick these. So I'm sorry Katy Perry but this one goes to you. Also performing the lead single from her third album, Perry opted for a 'Rocky' themed stage set under the Brooklyn Bridge. The performance wasn't necessarily 'bad' exactly, just a tad slow and dull for a show closer. It probably doesn't help that I also don't like the song at all.

2. Taylor Swift's potty mouth

It's hard to know who she was referring to exactly or whether it was just clever editing, but there's a member of One Direction she clearly can't stand the sound of. Bad in the best possible way.


1. That weird voice Joseph Gordon Levitt was speaking in.

JGL took the stage to present the award for Video of the Year, only to grace us with a really weird 19th Century circus ringleader persona. Although he recognised his own ridiculousness, he was met on stage by the awards recipient, Justin Timberlake also using the same voice...which made it slightly less cringe-inducing. Slightly.

The Ugly

2. Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke's 'We Can't Stop/Blurred Lines/Give It 2 Me'

As this feature is already a lot more image and gif heavy than expected, I'm gonna keep this one clean and short. What the hell was I even watching when Miley Cyrus performed 'We Can't Stop'? From the sad teddy bears, to the backoff slapping, to Cyrus's 'twerking', I don't even know where to begin. At least for the final song we had 2 Chainz and Kendrick Lamar attempt to save this desperate and unnecessary attempt for Cyrus to shed her child star skin. Call me an old codger but I was kinda disgusted. 

I'm gonna let this image speak for itself and be done with it...

...urgh...



1. Everyone's reaction to it

...Except I can't be cause the reactions are some of the best things to come out of this years ceremony. Of course, the Parents Television Council complained as it's pretty much what they do, but the Twittersphere exploded. In fact, this performance alone produced a gargantuan 306,000 tweets per minute, breaking a record previously held by Beyonce's Superbowl performance in February. Low and behold my favourite tweet o' them all:

Heh.


So there you have it. With 10.6 million live viewers it was also the most watched VMA telecast in recent years. More importantly there was something for everyone this year.
Unless you're a Chris Brown fan.

Credit to, fuckenamyy, tammygu3, Mashable, @flashinlightsU and MTV, and anyone elses .gifs I used from Tumblr.