Monday, 6 January 2014

2013: A Year in GIFS (Part 2)

Behold - Part 2 of 2013: A Year in Gifs. July to December saw sledgehammer licking, award shows, Samsung deals, and the (pop)stars align in the attempt of delivering flawfree song after flawfree which they kinda failed. Oh well. On to: 

Jay-Z released his latest, 'Magna Carta...Holy Grail' as a rap world first. Striking a $20,000,000 (£12, 200,000) with Samsung, MCHG was made available for Samsung Galaxy users for free on the 4th. The deal helped the album move over 1,000,000 copies by the 9th alone. While the album took influence from high culture, Jay took a bollocking over the technological collab. Issues arose over the amount of royalties going to Jay, while others questioned the albums certification and eligibility to chart on the Billboard Hot 200. The album was good I guess, but myself and others around me couldn't help but cry "we get it, Shawn...'re rich".
I have to scroll down a bit as I write this as that Big Ang gif as actually really distracting. 
August was a musical shamble. It was the month that Katy Perry and Lady Gaga dropped both of their singles. While 'Roar' was delivered on the 10th, 'Applause' was originally planned a week later, but found itself leaked by Gaga obsessed hackers and "rush released" for the 12th. If anyone remembers, Stefani was furious. It became an impromtu battle between stanbases for who would end up on top.  


Sadly for me, it was the former who ended up winning at the time. 'Roar' found itself at #1 in around 15 countries and later grabbed two Grammy nominations, while 'Applause' reached the top spot in the official charts in 4 territories. I don't think I've read the term "but sales aren't everything" as much as I have in the last 5 months.

On the 25th the MTV Video Music Awards took place but I don't wanna go into that. I've done it done already

September was claimed almost entirely by Little Miss Miley , who dropped the video for 'Wrecking Ball' on the 9th. The second single off her emancipation LP 'Bangerz' became the fastest music video to reach 100,000,000 views on Vevo since the sites inception. 

The song was so emotional charged she cried, no wept all through it, shot by the ever creepy Terry Richardson. 

She was also nekkid.

It's turned out to be one of the most gif-able videos of the year. Mostly due to this:


 Also some genius also decided to photoshop Nicholas Cage's face on her body:


A seemingly endless stream of open letters were written, mostly to or from Miley Cyrus and Sinead O'Connor. What appeared to be moderately interesting in the beginning just went on, and on, and on, and on...urgh. 

Also Justin Timberlake released 'The 20/20 Experience Part 2 of 2' and despite being mildly underwhelming, it was still better than 3 quarters of the utter feces that was shipped to radio this year.  

You know it's true. 

The fourth season of The Walking Dead premiered on the 13th, delivering 16.1 million live viewers - the highest audience for a cable network show in US History. Trumping TV juggernauts such as Modern Family, Big Bang Theory and CSI, the show saw the largest audience of the shows lifespan. Incredibly and undoubtedly well deserved.

Justin Bieber started releasing precocious bedroom jams every Monday, dubbed "Music Mondays". Recorded in hotel rooms, tour buses or anywhere he could find, Bieber started laying down depressing tracks about how sad he was and how much he missed Selena Gomez or whatever. All songs were compiled into what's now known as his ~journals and to be honest, they're not shit. Not shit at all. 

Look how sad they both are as she slowly slides down his body.

Way back in April-ish, I mentioned to a friend that Thor: The Dark World "will be my main November jam", and it really was. But still it was Loki-this, Loki-that, can't-wait-for-Avengers-2 and so on. As with Happy Endings, get your acts together and start liking the right things people. 'ARTPOP' dropped, and while many had the pitchforks out ready to proclaim the album as a flop, it ended up doing well. "Not as well as 'Born This Way'" you say, but when you sell an album on Amazon for 99 cents in its opening week people are obviously gonna it all up. If you'd like to glance down a few centimetres you'll see an image of Lady Gaga dressed as an Ultraman/sex doll/toaster hybrid while she performs Artpop's opening track, 'Aura' at her ArtRave event in New York.

Do you?

One person who didn't release an album that month was *twist*, Rihanna. The island princess has popped off with a new LP every November for the past 4 years ('Rated R' in 2009, 'Loud' in 2010, 'Talk That Talk' in 2011 and 'Unapologetic' in 2012), yet opted not to go for a fifth outing in 2013. She did however release more singles from 'Unapologetic', including the dark stripper anthem 'Pour It Up'. The video featured her doing this:

I'll never get over it.

At the American Music Awards on the 24th, Alicia Silverstone was asked who she was most looking forward to meeting. Her answer?

I can't tell if she was taking the piss or if she genuinely thinks that's their name but either way this is hilarious. Rihanna was given the first ever 'ICON' Award at the show, which basically awarded her for having a vast number of Twitter and Instagram followers. Seriously. 

Also one of the most important music videos of the decade dropped on the 19th. It needs no introduction:

I have so much time for all things Bound 2. Sadly, Kanye didn't have time for much else as he descended further into madness on Sway's radio show 'Sway in the Morning'. While the host and MTV presenter named West "one of the most clever people to manipulate the internet", Kanye berated Sway for not having "the answers". To what you say? I'm still unsure. It's frustrating to me that on occasions, Kanye opens his mouth and lil' nuggets of gold come out, but those golden nuggets are surrounded by so much hot air and nothingness you can't take them in. 

Part of the reason I waited until the new year to finish this was due to the fact I could give December the same amount as respect as the previous months. I don't get these people who do year reviews half way through December. There's still half of the month left. Sadly for them, those that did missed out on one of the most unprecedented musical events of the year. Which as we all know how as:

Bey day. 
Friday 13th 2013. 
Instead of describing how well Beyoncé's album did is doing, let this gif of Kirby illustrate what went down:

For those who don't get it, Beyoncé is obviously Kirby. The food represents the music industry, people's minds, their wallets and the lessers who couldn't get it together in 2013. The self titled album came after 11 and a half months of teasing, false starts and scrapped material, but left everyone in a frenzy minutes after the whole album and it's 17 music videos dropped out of nowhere. She really broke the internet that day and it still hasn't fully recovered.

I didn't even like Beyoncé thaaaat much before but you couldn't deny.
It was a Christmas M I R A C L E.

But before that on the 2nd, Britney Spears 8th album, 'Britney Jean' was released so somewhat minimal fanfare. After teasing that her next project would be her "most personal album to date" time, and time and time again, the first single which dropped in the crowded month of September sounded anything but. 

So personal.

Whether or not it was her "most personal" became irrelevant, as the words were quickly replaced with "least successful", as the album only managed to reach #4 in the US and 34 in the UK. 

But sales aren't everything.

She also began her much hyped 2 year Las Vegas Residency on the 27th, reportedly raking in $15,000,000 (£9,140,000) a year for the set of shows. I wish someone would pay ME $300,000 a night (yes, three hundred thousand dollars a NIGHT) to do this:

At least she looks good.

So there it is, 2013s guide to pop culture for dummies. I wonder what great and terrible things await us next year? Will Azealia Banks and Iggy Azalea release their long awaited debut LPs in '14? Will Lana Del Rey's second official album 'Ultraviolence' dazzle us or send us to sleep? And will Leo finally get that Oscar he's been pining for his whole career? Only time will tell. All I know is that I never wanna hear the terms "this is my most personal album to date" "open letter" or "twerking" again. Especially by those who can't even do it. 

It's just insulting.


Credit to: Gifatron, Weheartit, Mrwgifs, Hitfix, and the tumblrs, Happy Endings gifs, elloscambiaron-mivida, middlechildswag, hotnewsgator, realitytvgifs, districtMTV
& Pinkisthenewblog

No comments:

Post a Comment