After holding out for months for the release of the Do What U Want video, I've fully accepted that the day for that is never going to come. It's dead, buried and from what I've read, probably for the best.
Instead, we've been blessed with a clip for Gaga's latest, G.U.Y (an acronym for Girl Under You), a track which Germanotta herself has described as "being comfortable being underneath because you're strong enough to know that you don't have to be on top to know you're worth it".
Thanks to Gaga (and her team) Artpop as a movement is realised to its full extent. It's here that she continues her adoration for Renaissance-era works, while featuring some of the defining faces in contemporary American pop culture. This is a world in which Botticelli and Raphael meet The Real Housewives of somewhere, Donatello meets Donatella and TV host Andy Cohen is God. Or a God in the clouds or whatever.
The video for G.U.Y encompasses various tracks from Gaga's latest effort. Featuring three different segues, the video is communicated in a form almost as nonsensical and confusing as Alejandro. We see an injured Gamayun-like Gaga writhing about in a battlefield towards a castle (Pt. I - Artpop), only to collapse again and be taken inside the castle grounds. The unconscious/dying/dead Gaga-yun is wrapped in floral headgear and laid to rest eternally at the bottom of a swimming pool (Pt. II - Venus), while The Real Housewives lip syncing the chorus, and play the guitar, harp, tambourine and cello to varying degrees of conviction.
None of them look like they have a single clue what's going on.
That's not how you play a cello love.
As I write this, it has just occurred to me how difficult how the video is to describe and how near impossible it is to make it quick. But I'll try. So after all that, (Pt. III) G.U.Y actually starts, and Gaga breaks it down on top of what looks like a wedding cake:
On the floor with a blue cloth showing tasteful sideboob:
And in an indoor pool that makes the one inside Croft Manor look like NOTHING:
It's also funny to me how much she looks like Donatella Versace in this video but still looks the best she's looked in a damn long time:
So anyway, she and the housewives ravage some dudes, shoot cannons of money and clone a whole load of G.I.R.L's. She also finds time to resurrect the likes of Gandhi, Michael Jackson and Jesus (what), be constructed out of lego and play Minecraft. Most of this taking place within the beautifully ostentatious walls of a European (looking) castle. Artpop indeed.
It goes without saying that Gaga's latest labour of love is a showy spectacle that could end up being one of the best pop videos of the year. For those who have felt less than impressed in the last few months with how things have been going for Gaga, G.U.Y is definitely a return to form. Actually fuck that, you can't return somewhere that you never left in the first place.