VMAs: The Good, The Bad and The Downright Disgusting

On Sunday night, I said to a good friend, "I haven't said this in 10 years, but I am really excited for the VMAs tonight". That's no exaggeration, as I feel like the MTV Video Music Awards haven't been good since about 2003 or '04. What once seemed to be an alternative awards ceremony celebrating the best in the business and those who couldn't get close to a Grammy later turned into a seemingly overreaching spectacle to win viewership ratings. 

This year saw the awards return back to form. Although it wouldn't be the VMAs without a lil' controversy, it was nice to see a strong selection of nominees while also witnessing some incredible live performances. 

Ten of the show's moments have been spread (unevenly) into three categories; The Good, The Bad and the troll-under-a-bridge ugly. I don't think it takes a genius to guess which moments were the ugliest.

5. Lady Gaga's opener - 'Applause'

Yes, Lady Gaga opened the show with 'Applause', the first single off her third album 'Artpop'. While I'm sure some of you found time to cheer her, others were more likely to moan and groan, as after only four years, a lot of people seem to be sick of her already. My expectations for this performance were at a comfortable average to reasonably high, only to be exceeded entirely. 

Why Gaga found it necessary to wear four different costumes and three different wigs is unbeknownst to me at this moment in time, but for now I'll just take it as it was. An incredibly entertaining show opener.


4. The Surprise presenters




Something I didn't see coming were the appearances of Jason Collins, TLC and Lil' Kim this year. Even though Kim herself is a native Brooklynite (where the event was held this year), I never would've guessed that she'd actually turn up, especially since she left me hanging at Lovebox this year. Taking turns to introduce performances by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Drake, and the nominees for Best Rap Video respectively, the three were a pleasant add to the mix among the stars of the new generation, including Iggy Azalea, Selena Gomez and Bruno Mars.

3. Danity Kane's reformation

While a collective 'WHO?!' sweeps this post/nation/the internet, lemme say one thing. Danity Kane are my jam. Those who know me know this. Shannon, Aundrea, Aubrey and Dawn stepped out together as a group for the first time five years, acting like no time had passed at all. The band made famous on MTV's Making The Band released two albums in '06 and '08 before being disbanded by the groups creator, the Ciroc splashing Diddy in '09. Becoming the only girl group in history to have their first two albums début atop the Billboard chart, the new foursome (the fifth member, 'D. Woods' decided not to return for whatever reason), announced that they're currently readying a new single, titled 'Rage' from their upcoming third album. Sure they've been gone longer than they were together, and most people don't know who they are, but I remain excited.

2. Kanye West's 'Blood on the Leaves'

The most shocking thing that Kanye West can do at the point is act like a normal human being. Which is pretty much what he did the entire time he was on stage performing 'Blood on the Leaves' this year. West made a rare appearance at this years awards to perform a track from his dark, twisted but not so beautiful LP, Yeezus on Sunday night. While performing in front of the backdrop to Steve McQueen's "Lynching Tree", West flailed and wailed to the track which samples Nina Simone's 'Strange Fruit'. So maybe it wasn't exactly normal, but pretty normal for him at least. 

1. Justin Timberlake & NSync's Medley 

How could this not be #1? The recipient of this year's Video Vanguard Award blessed us with a 15 minute medley of almost every song he's ever released.  About half way through Timberlake headed towards the stage to reunite with the best boyband of all time, NSync for 'Gone', 'Bye Bye Bye' and 'Girlfriend'.

The choreography and vocals were air fucking TIGHT. 

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

and most importantly, Exhibit C:

And let's not forget about this:

I need a slo-mo of that:

Everyone, their mother, and Lady Gaga lost their minds:

The Bad

3. Katy Perry's closer, 'Roar'

To be fair, this show had the fewest poor moments since I started watching the show in 1998, so it was quite hard to pick these. So I'm sorry Katy Perry but this one goes to you. Also performing the lead single from her third album, Perry opted for a 'Rocky' themed stage set under the Brooklyn Bridge. The performance wasn't necessarily 'bad' exactly, just a tad slow and dull for a show closer. It probably doesn't help that I also don't like the song at all.

2. Taylor Swift's potty mouth

It's hard to know who she was referring to exactly or whether it was just clever editing, but there's a member of One Direction she clearly can't stand the sound of. Bad in the best possible way.


1. That weird voice Joseph Gordon Levitt was speaking in.

JGL took the stage to present the award for Video of the Year, only to grace us with a really weird 19th Century circus ringleader persona. Although he recognised his own ridiculousness, he was met on stage by the awards recipient, Justin Timberlake also using the same voice...which made it slightly less cringe-inducing. Slightly.

The Ugly

2. Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke's 'We Can't Stop/Blurred Lines/Give It 2 Me'

As this feature is already a lot more image and gif heavy than expected, I'm gonna keep this one clean and short. What the hell was I even watching when Miley Cyrus performed 'We Can't Stop'? From the sad teddy bears, to the backoff slapping, to Cyrus's 'twerking', I don't even know where to begin. At least for the final song we had 2 Chainz and Kendrick Lamar attempt to save this desperate and unnecessary attempt for Cyrus to shed her child star skin. Call me an old codger but I was kinda disgusted. 

I'm gonna let this image speak for itself and be done with it...

...urgh...



1. Everyone's reaction to it

...Except I can't be cause the reactions are some of the best things to come out of this years ceremony. Of course, the Parents Television Council complained as it's pretty much what they do, but the Twittersphere exploded. In fact, this performance alone produced a gargantuan 306,000 tweets per minute, breaking a record previously held by Beyonce's Superbowl performance in February. Low and behold my favourite tweet o' them all:

Heh.


So there you have it. With 10.6 million live viewers it was also the most watched VMA telecast in recent years. More importantly there was something for everyone this year.
Unless you're a Chris Brown fan.

Credit to, fuckenamyy, tammygu3, Mashable, @flashinlightsU and MTV, and anyone elses .gifs I used from Tumblr.

Best Albums of 2012

Much later than everyone else I've decided to finally detail the list of the best albums released in 2012. Or more accurately, the best albums of 2012 that I actually got round to listening to. 'Best' is a pretty tricky word, as what can be called the 'best' often comes down to taste and personal preference. So anyway, here are the best (my favourite) albums (and EPs that I heard) from 2012.


10. The Heist - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
'Who?' you ask yourself.
While the words "white" and "rapper" next to each other are a huge turn-off for a lot of people, one by the name of Washington-born Macklemore (born Ben Haggerty) partnered up with producer Ryan Lewis to build a fun and original rap album. What makes this album great is the fact that Macklemore doesn't try to be anyone else; not Jay-Z, not Eminem but purely himself. No imitations or stupid accents. Just good rap music.

      Key Tracks: Thrift Shop, Jimmy Iovine

9.  Reign of Terror - Sleigh Bells
American duo Sleigh Bells also released their second album this year, which featured thumping synths, electric guitars and even a contemporary power ballad. Together Alexis and Derek show a rare example of how bigger can sometimes actually be better.
Key Tracks: End of the Line, Demons

8. Brandy - Two Eleven
'Ohhhhhh (never-er) heyyyyyy' 
Brandy brings back the late 90s and early 00s without making her newest LP dated or irrelevant. Not even a Chris Brown assisted track can bring this album down. Two Eleven is Brandy's first release since 'Human' in 2008, an album she herself didn't even like. But Brandy is back once again on top form, deciding to forgo the blaring Pop/Dance trend to make a coherent and strong offering. Well done Brandy.
Key Tracks: Wildest Dreams, Slower, Put It Down 

7. Armor On - Dawn Richard

One of the year’s best albums is actually an EP…with as many tracks as an album has. Ex-Diddy -Dirty Money and Danity Kane singer Dawn Richard independently released the piece 'Armor On', as an opener to a proposed trilogy of albums kicking off with GoldenHeart in January. Richard is an innovator, who marries her distinctively incredible voice with the sounds of producer Druski. Every track coincides with one another, working perfectly as a strange and out-there concept piece. (Full review here)

6. Melanie Fiona - The MF Life

Melanie Fiona brought R&B back earlier this year, with an array of guests on her latest, 'The MF Life'. J. Cole, Nas, B.O.B and John Legend all assist Fiona as she put love and relationships at the forefront of the album, detailing the good, the bad, and the ugly throughout. Full review here

5. Channel Orange - Frank Ocean
I'm not gonna pretend that I've always liked and known Frank Ocean, because I haven't. In fact, I pretty much ignored most of his work, thinking he was just another over-hyped, here today/gone tomorrow internet fad. What a fool I was, as Ocean can siiiiing. 'Channel Orange' is a strong album, with Frank getting to work straight away in his falsetto on 'Thinking About You' and keeping our attention in a chokehold for the duration of the album.
Key Tracks: Lost, Pink Matter


4. Perfectly Imperfect - Elle Varner
I don't think I've ever heard Country strings and an 808 sound so good togethe..if it all, ever. Varner, who co-wrote every song on the album, worked with an intimate group of producers including Oak & Pop to produce 11 track wonderment. One of the best debuts of the last few years for definite.
Key Tracks: Refill, I Don't Care, Not Tonight

3. Born to Die - Lana Del Rey

Technically released twice this year, Lana Del Rey’s first huge release saw the starlet attract a huge amount of controversy on account of her alleged manufactured past. Nevertheless the disc released in January was undeniably great. (You can read reviews for both editions of the album here and here).

2. Music 4 TNGRS - Chester French

Ex-Harvard attendees Max Drummey and D.A Wallach released one of the freshest, multi-genre albums this year, that went disturbingly under the radar. Wallach’s voice is beautifully throaty, while the lyrical content and production infused big band style brass instruments, soothing strings and banging synths. You can read a full review of the album here.

1. Kaleidoscope Dream - Miguel

Miguel, still largely unknown in the UK, seemed to burst out of nowhere for his second LP 'Kaleidoscope Dream'. Similarly to Dawn Richard, Miguel's voice sits strongly over the distorted R&B sounds of the album, which takes prevalence over the production. The album opens with one of it's strongest tracks 'Adorn', a 'Sexual Feeling' for the 21st Century. To be honest, it's all continuously up from there, as KD fails to display a weak spot in its 54 minute runtime.

Key Tracks: Adorn, Don't Look Back, Arch & Point

Where Are All The Dark Skinned Women?

If a number of you were asked to name some of the top selling, and most successful music artists at the moment, the names Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj, and Rihanna would spring to mind for most. Those that would name these three specifically might also come to say that music, and pop music especially is currently dominated by black artists such as these aforementioned women, and maybe even rank them among the most attractive women in the industry. In fact, Beyoncé herself was recently crowned 'People' magazines “world’s most beautiful woman”, also appearing on the cover.

Rihanna and Battleship co-star Brooklyn Decker

But what stuck out to me was the appearance of Miss Knowles…sorry, Mrs. Carter, on the last issue, looking incredibly light on the cover…and not in the form of weight. Similarly at various press conferences for Rihanna’s first feature film Battleship, the Bajan superstar looked incredibly pale in skin tone, appearing to almost be the same colour as her all-white cast mates. I wondered if it was just me who thought this, but various others on the bloggersphere pointed out that if you covered her face, you wouldn’t be able to tell that that one: the woman in the picture is Rihanna, and two: if she is even remotely black.

Photo retouching, more specifically, retouching a black celebrity’s skin tone such as Beyonce’s to look lighter sadly is nothing new to most of us, as it’s something that is consistently done, to which I think is in part, to make these black beauties appeal to a universal audience, fearing that a darker woman might alienate parts of the public. It also leads me to believe that dark skinned black women are often seen “lesser than”, and often demonised because of their skin tone, with a large number of darker women being cast in Reality TV shows, often being portrayed as, surprise surprise, the bitch (think Tiffany “New York” Pollard, and Omarosa). In fact, on a season 2 episode of Tyra Banks’ competition America’s Next Top Model, she stated during the judging panel section of the show that she has noticed that a number of black women hate to be made darker in photo shoots, referring to a contestant who appeared unhappy to portray performer Grace Jones in a celebrity themed challenge.

Many come to blame the lighting or the “photoshopping” of an image that makes their favourite star look the way they do. However, there are cases in which neither of these are plausible excuses. Which brings me directly to Kimberly Denise Jones, aka Lil' Kim.

 Lil' Kim in 1999 (left) and again in 2012 (right) 

It is blatantly obvious to see the transformation that Lil' Kim has made aesthetically over the years. Kim recently appeared on "BET's Rip The Runway" in which she performed a medley of tracks, in front of a live audience. However, I couldn't believe that the woman standing front centre of the stage was Lil' Kim herself, as the MC appeared to have much lighter skin, an incredibly narrow nose, and very fair hair, looking nothing like the "Hard Core" rapper from the 90s. 

For someone who is often called one of the pioneers of hip-hop, a genre that is in large dominated by men, it is incredibly worrying to see someone transform themselves to the extent to which she has done. It sends out a terrible message that in order to be a successful female within the music industry, and maybe even as a woman in general, there is something unnatural or unattractive about having darker skin. One artist set to change that is Harlem, New York rapstress Azealia Banks, who has found both critical and commercial success, without feeling the need to appear lighter or fairer than she naturally is. 

Similarly with Missy Elliott set to release a new album in June, along with Dawn Richard (an artist who herself has commented on the isolation of being one of very few darker skinned singers) releasing more music soon, it appears as if this may not always be the case within the music industry. 

I for one sincerely hope this isn't.

Dawn Richard- Armor On (EP)

“You’re gonna hear R&B taken to a whole ‘nother level” states former Danity Kane and Diddy-Dirty Money member while speaking of her neo-soul 10-track EP. But isn’t 10 tracks just an album? Not by newly-solo Dawn’s standards. After being in and out of groups for around six years, Richard is finally calling the shots in her own career, after requesting to be released from her Bad Boy contract with Diddy to craft the independent label ‘Our Dawn Entertainment’.  "Armor" in large, appears to be a concept album, in which Richard straps on her alter-ego “NEON” who has been fitted with the task of carrying a sacred heart to…wherever it is she’s meant to be.

Richards flirts with the contemporary dance sound on 'Faith', however "Armor" is in the vein of Drake’s moody Melancholy&B "Take Care", with a splash of Janelle Monae’s "Metropolis Suite I: The Chase"; mostly featuring down-trodden and mid-tempo synths with almost jungle sounding drum beats (second track 'Black Lipstick' in particular) weaving in and out of Richard’s smooth and enigmatic voice. The album-sorry EP, truly kicks in on the third track and lead single 'Bombs' where she confidently bellows “Y’all throwin’ shade, but I’m so summer” stomping the h8rs out as they can’t phase her, and if she keeps going in this direction, they won’t either. “Armor” is a consistent album. Richards is vocally very strong, and as far as the current face of the dance pop/R&B scene (which has GOT to be over soon as we’re all so sick of it), we need more artists like Dawn Richards around to keep on taking the genre to the level she speaks of, and as "Armor" is envisioned as a prelude to Richards "GoldenHeart Triology" those who are bored of current mainstream music scene will probably find what it is they are looking for.

B+

Key Tracks: Bombs, Automatic